It takes a focused, mindful person to remember all the things they ought not to do or say in a foreign country. Don’t say “peach” or “sick,” don’t stick your feet in someone else’s direction, don’t point with just one finger, don’t be too friendly to guys. If you know me well, you know that focused and mindful aren't exactly my strong points. If I don’t consistently remind myself of these things, I know I am at risk of unintentionally giving offense. Sometimes the process of remembering these things is both stressful and irritating. I feel at times that I can’t relax and have to be constantly on guard. This frustration occasionally causes me to blame others in my thoughts or have unreasonable expectations for them.
“Surely they’ll realize I’m not from here, that I made a mistake…”
“Well, they really ought to show grace and not mind…those things aren't a big deal.”
The problem with these thoughts is that they allow me to disregard the feelings and experiences of others. They say, “Your culture and mindset doesn't make sense to me, therefore I can disregard them with no consequences.” This counts my feelings as higher than others and exempts me from caring for others more than myself. They are selfish, mean-spirited thoughts. This morning, these verses from Ephesians reminded me that being a servant of God requires diligence:
“I, therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, accepting one another in love, diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds us. There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called to one hope at your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.” –Ephesians 4:1-6
Every good deed does not come naturally or effortlessly. I have to remind myself to be patient; I have to urge myself to show grace; and I have to sacrifice to put others first. It would be silly to expect others to excuse my every offensive word or tolerate my selfish behavior. We cannot live without being mindful of those around us and how our words and actions will affect the state of their heart.
I come across this dilemma in my mind sometimes:
If I know that a specific action of mine is not technically immoral, not exactly wrong, but I know that it will likely cause anger or hurt, am I still right to do it? In this type of situation, I wonder where love lies. Where am I striving to walk in humility? How are my actions gentle and peaceful? Am I promoting unity or discord? I don’t know that it’s always possible to live in peace. We certainly cannot expect every person to look at our beliefs and actions and be okay with them. There are too many people with too many opinions for that. However, I look at myself and the motives that are so often unkind and unthinking and I wonder if I try very hard to be at peace. It’s hard to mindful of the opinions of others. It takes effort to remember what might cause someone pain or stir up anger in their heart. But we are called to one hope. We are united by a need for that hope. Our actions, as I see it, are either pushing those around us towards that hope, or away from that hope.
I am encouraged by these verses a little further down in Ephesians 4:
One day…”we will no longer be little children, tossed by the waves and blown around by every wind of teaching, by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit. But speaking the truth in love, let us grown in every way into Him who is the head—Christ. From Him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building itself in love by the proper working of each individual part.”
We are all parts, (I love that Paul calls us ligaments) working together and promoting the growth of each other. That isn't easy, and that isn't a lightly taken task. But it’s a beautiful, worthy task.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit on this glorious Saturday,
Casey
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